Should I Stay or Should I Go?

If I go there will be trouble
But if I stay it will be double . . .
This indecision’s buggin’ me . . .
So come on and let me know
Should I stay or should I go?

Deep thoughts from that incredibly sophisticated band, The Clash. They seem to pretty much sum up the last month or so of our lives. It’s been more intense than any of you probably know. An agonizing thing to consider, really; something not taken lightly. One of these days I’ll chronicle the whole thing out for this vast audience, which I’m sure waits with baited breath on each word.

Either way, I knew it was time for a change in my life, both professionally and personally. Mercer has been a wonderful experience for me, mostly due to the great people I’ve been able to associate with there. That will certainly be the thing I’ll miss most about Mercer. Through all of the nonsense that goes on in a highly political corporate environment, the people I’ve been able to work with have really risen above it all and created quality work. And, more importantly, have remained quality people. So kudos to you.

The personal aspect of it has been the most agonizing. That’s surprising, I’m sure, to many of you who know much about me. I’m not one to wear emotions on my sleeve. Julie always tells me I have my crusty shell and use my sarcasm to ward off people getting close to me. That’s certainly partly true, or maybe fully true, who knows. What I do know is that I won’t argue with her (I know better by now). What I also know is that there have been some wonderful people we’ve been able to meet here in Surprise and elsewhere. It’s comforting to know that there are people so devoted to their families, friends, faith, and communities, and the people here have epitomized that devotion in many ways. If it were the same in just a small fraction of households, I think this cruel world of ours would be a much more inviting, forgiving place.

My family has attempted to disown me. And they probably would have gone ahead and done so if it weren’t for my lovely daughters. It will be a struggle and a huge adjustment. They’ve all been very supportive over the time we’ve been here.

We’ll be heading up to Utah on Monday for the week of Thanksgiving. It should be fun to look around and see what the market has to say. I have communicated with some property owners up there who think that they’re still in a pricing run-up. It’s been interesting to watch them pull back over the last few months. Of course I’ll also experience the other side of that down here. Our home is, of course, wonderful, but no one will ever think it’s as wonderful as we do, which inevitably causes some sort of emotional disconnect, which makes it hard to sell a “home.” We’ll see what happens.

That’s enough sappiness for now. I’ll come through with more details soon.